Saturday, January 7, 2012

Rape Prevention Tips

(Edit: Per anonymous comment, added the tip about alcohol and drugs.)

(Edit: Per comments from Ursula L and Kit Whitfield, added tips about witnessing/hearing about rape.)

The FBI announced a new definition of rape this week. For 80 years, the FBI has only considered rape by force, even though the weapon of choice for rapists is alcohol.(1) Suddenly the FBI will be counting the 89 percent of rapes committed without a weapon being involved. This is huge, and very good news for everyone except fans of rape.

Oh, it also now includes the 10 percent of rape victims who are male.(2) So, one of the changes affects 89 percent of rape victims, the other affects 10 percent of rape victims. Can you guess which one is showing up in more headlines?

If you said, "The one about men," you understand our media's fucked-up priorities.

Anyway, in honor of these headlines, I would like to offer some tips on what men and women alike can do to prevent rape.

  1. Don't rape anybody.

  2. No, seriously. Don't rape anybody.

  3. Don't have sex with anybody who doesn't want to have sex with you. That would be rape.

  4. Don't have sex with anybody who cannot indicate whether they want to have sex with you. That would be rape.

  5. Don't have sex with anybody who wants to have sex in general, just not with you. That would be rape.

  6. Don't have sex with anybody who wanted to have sex with you before, but now doesn't. That would be rape.

  7. If the only way to get someone to have sex with you involves alcohol or other drugs, don't do it. That would be rape.

  8. If you have to ask whether something counts as rape, it probably does. Don't do it.

  9. If you have had sex with someone who didn't want to have sex with you, regardless of circumstances or who that person is or what your relationship to them is, you are a rapist. Turn yourself in to the police before you rape again. Alternatively, there is always the option of dying in a fire.

  10. If you think any of the above would restrict your ability to have or enjoy sex, you are either already a rapist or on your way to becoming one. See number 9.

  11. If you see someone doing any of numbers 1-9, stop them if possible or call the police.

  12. If learn that someone has done any of numbers 1-9, call the police.

  13. If your response to numbers 11 and 12 is anything along the lines of "But he's my friend!" or "She deserved it because..." see number 10.
Let me know if I missed any!


  1. 10. If partner is unsure and the addition of alcohol is the only conceivable way for him/her to have sex with you; don't do it, it's rape.

  2. @Anonymous: Added it, thanks!

    @Ana: No prob, I have been meaning to do something about this for a while, and the annoying headlines I saw Friday gave me the final impetus.

  3. Regarding #9, firefighters generally do not enjoy having to find people killed by fires.

    I would suggest finding a poison, going to the local coroner's office, and taking the poison there. This will minimize the number of people who have to deal with your corpse, and is generally more polite than dying in a fire.

  4. You might also want to add that if any friend or acquaintance tells you they intend to do any of these, call the police and stop them, and don't be an accessory to their crime, and if they tell you they have done such things, report it to the police before they have a chance to repeat the behavior.

  5. 11. If you see someone trying to do numbers 1 through 9, stop them.

    12. If your reaction to 11 is 'but he's a good guy/my mate' or 'but it's her fault anyway', go to 10.

  6. @Ursula: Nah, poison is too easy. I recommend going out into the middle of an empty parking lot in the middle of the night, dousing oneself in gasoline, and lighting a match. No harm to others, no need to get the firefighters involved, the paving of the parking lot prevents the fire from spreading, and there's minimal cleanup afterwards.

    @Ursula and Kit: Added them!

  7. Would like to point out that going to the police is not always what the victim wants, and they are entitled to have that respected.

    Reporting a rape to the police is a huge can of worms that a lot of victims are not emotionally equipped to deal with for a number of darn good reasons. Doing it on their behalf, coercing them to do it, making them feel like they're not doing the "right thing" by not, or any other variation of any of those, can be extremely damaging.

    That's not to say that it's okay for rapists to get away with it just because the legal system isn't even close to being equipped to handle rapes.



Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.